4

Little Fawn’s Vision Quest

Little Fawn is excited. She stands up first. First in line of the girls, she walks into the forest alone. Once in the dense forest, with the tall trees, it is hard for her to see. She only has the weak moonlight, but she is unafraid. She waits for her eyes to adjust to the dark.

Little Fawn remembers her friends, her family, the village elders saying, “Little Fawn is a natural leader!” But she is just as comfortable alone, thinking for herself, loving the beauty of her forest home. She loves all of Kishelemukong’s wild creatures, plants, waters, sky. As kids, she and her brother, Little Bear camped overnight an easy distance from the village.

But, tonight is different. Tonight, is her first real adventure, all alone, only herself to depend upon. She remembers her people saying, “Litle Fawn has great strength and powerful will. She fears no one and nothing. She is the only girl to master hunting and fighting like the boys.”  When very young, Little Fawn and her two closest friends decided to become Lenape warriors. Little Bear and his friends always watched and respected her. Equal to her twin brother in so many ways, Little Bear has always been fiercely proud of his twin sister.

Little Fawn does not think of the Vision Quest challenges as punishing. These four days and nights without food, these days without water, are important work, no burden. Most important to Little Fawn will be meeting her animal spirit. She prays to Kishelemukong that her animal spirit will find her worthy, that her new name will show her true warrior nature.

Now, Little Fawn’s eyes are all adjusted to the dark. Moonlight is enough to see through the trees. She turns and walks sure-footed toward a stream she knows well. She stops, removes her moccasins, walks carefully not to slip or fall. Once across the stream, she pauses again, puts on her moccasins.  She will walk all night to be far from the village. This way, her animal spirit will come sooner. 

She is comforted by the night creatures of the forest. She knows her sisters will be strong and confident, hearing their favorite night sounds. After some time, the moon shines bright. She comes to a clearing next to a wider stream.  The stream waters are running full and fast after days of heavy rain. She worries, “Yes, there will be more rain. Yes, mid-spring chill. I will miss our warm campfire!” Then she cries out loud, “Thank you, Kishelemukong! Thank you, Welathaket! Thank you, Grandmothers and Grandfathers, for this clear night, for this full moon. You will be with me these nights!”

Lenapehoking forest streams are not too deep, just knee to thigh high. She makes herself quiet, sees the beauty, feels the tranquility. Again, she removes her moccasins, lifts her deerskin skirt. She steps into the cold water to wade across the stream. Only a short distance, soon she is on the far bank. She waits for her feet and legs to dry, then leans down, puts her moccasins on. Then something strikes her head, hard- hitting. She bolts upright and brushes her hair quickly with both hands. 

“Pisilunkon! Sister Bats! You are the only ones who annoy me at night!” She slowly turns in a full circle, staring into the dim moon light, listening for the whir of bat wings.  But they don’t return.  Little Fawn sits at the foot of a tree, just away from the stream. She leans against it, catches her breath, calms herself from the head-hit Pisilunkon gave her. She regains her calm, soothed by the sound of the water passing over rocks and fallen trees. She watches the firefly lights. Soon, Little Fawn is asleep, sitting upright with her back against the tree. Her head slowly falls back against the tree trunk.

No dreams, Little Fawn hears the chattering of birds before sunrise. The birds grow louder as the sky brightens. First day colors appear. Now, day’s first blue sky. She feels restless. Where is the sun coming up? Waking more, she realizes the direction of the great waters, the powerful sea. Now the sun breaks free of the water’s mighty hold. Night becomes day. Confused for a moment, suddenly Little Fawn is wide-awake. She sits bolt upright. She realizes where she is.  She wishes she had walked all night, but no. Sleep overtook her. And now, she is hungry, very hungry. It has been only one night. Now she realizes how hard her Vision Quest will be.

As a true warrior, she will be strong, like the others before her. Better from the sleep, Little Fawn stretches her arms and legs. She stands up and walks to the stream. She scoops water with both hands and splashes her face. She remembers, “No drinking from the stream. It is now daylight!” She walks fast, stopping only to admire the fawn, the red fox, the three rabbits, so many squirrels. She sees a skunk and several porcupines. She keeps a safe distance.

By late afternoon she stops walking. She begins preparing for her second night alone in the forest. Dark rain clouds are forming close above her, covering the sun. Little Fawn knows she must quickly find shelter for a long, wet night. The dark comes with a yellow-orange color everywhere. Little Fawn quickly scans in all directions. At first, she doesn’t see places for shelter. Then, a small clearing on the other side of the big stream more than a hundred lengths of an arrow away.  Her sharp eyes see an outcropping of rock, an opening to a cave. “That’s perfect for me!” she delights. “Thank you, my Bat Sisters! This must be your home!” Little Fawn quickly runs for the cave, then stops. She sees movement at the cave’s entrance.

“Two small animals? OK to share a cave with two small creatures.” But then she sees a mother bear with two of her cubs. “This changes everything,” she knows. First large raindrops strike the tops of the tallest trees. She pulls her deerskin tunic over her head and shoulders. She runs to a large fallen tree, looks for a seat where she can wait through the storm. A strong wind comes up, howling through the tops of the trees.  Even the greatest trees lean with the wind. The wind is powerful, thrusting the rain hard across Little Fawns’ face and arms. Strong as any Lenape warrior, practiced at living in the wild, still she feels this cold water, wind all around her.

 Shivering hard, Little Fawn takes the chance to cup her hands together. She thrusts them into the water from above. She is so thirsty. “Now is time to drink!” As time passes, darkness approaches, she drifts off into short sleeps. Then she hears the Thunder-Beings. She whispers, ”Petakhuweyok!” She comforts herself with Grandfather’s story. Thunder-Beings ”Petakhuweyok” are powerful spirits that sometimes kill with their bright flashes of hot light. They might cause fires in the trees. Flashes of light appear everywhere before each boom of thunder. Still, Little Fawn is unafraid. She watches, alert and aware of the Thunder-Beings’ power.

But now, a blinding flash lights up the forest. Now, a monstrous clap of thunder comes from the top of her sleeping tree.

A loud voice, no human voice, booms out from the sky above her. “Run, Little Fawn. Run!” Little Fawn leaps to her feet. She jumps as far and fast as she can. She spins around. She looks behind her. Thunder-Being’s jagged, white light split her tree in half. Half of the treetop fell away harmlessly. Half fell straight down and crushed the place where she had been sitting!

Little Fawn stands in wonder as she waits for the storm to end. Dark clouds blow away. Soft moonlight beams down onto the forest floor. Holding her breath all this time, now Little Fawn releases. She blinks her eyes twice, rubs them with her hands. She now sees a glowing white light like the sun, though night. “How can this be?!” She gasps at a glowing sphere, hanging mid-air. Inside, a pure white bird. It glows with gold light. Its huge wings extend wide. It booms out to her, but so kind, the voice, “My Little Fawn. I watch you. I know you from a baby to now. Do not fear me. You are as brave as the bravest Lenape warrior!”

Little Fawn, fearless exclaimed, “Are you my animal spirit? You saved me from the falling tree, from the Thunder Beings!”

“Yes, my Little Fawn. I watch over you. I will always be at your side, as tonight.”

“You are a beautiful falcon! What is your name? Thank you for saving my life!”

“Call me Spirit. I will call you Fierce Falcon. I will always teach you.” cried out the great golden bird in the glowing light orb. “Now, you and your brother will take special care of Lenapehoking, your Lenape people. I will help you!”

Now the sphere of light became even more brilliant. Little Fawn, now “Fierce Falcon” cannot see. The great bird’s golden body is consumed by the growing, fiery sphere, growing larger and larger. The fire, the glow envelops Fierce Falcon, too. She feels a great heat. She is washed over by more feeling than she has ever known. Then, a single beat of wings, Spirit-Falcon breaks free of the sphere of light. Instantly, she rises above the top of the tallest tree. She disappears within the moon, along with the sun-sphere.

Day three of her Vision Quest, Fierce Falcon is no more Little Fawn. She wakes up as if from a crazy dream. She heads back to her village.  She knows she is now a woman.